Murto's Anime in UNDER a minute
by Murto
Summary: I was originally gonna send these to Kebinu for his next installment of Anime in a Minute. I got carried away and canned that idea, so this is what I've got. Includes DVD Extra's, READ IT AND REVIEW! Flame the heck outta me if you really wanna, I don't


Anime in UNDER a minute  
  
Author: Murto (Managing Under Rancid Turtle Overlords)  
  
Notes: Originally I was going to send a couple of these to Kebinu so he could add them to his next installment of "Anime in a Minute" FanFic, but I got carried away. I've only done Anime's he's missed though, plus I've added some DVD Extras. This might be it for the time being, I won't be able to get my hands on any new Anime for a few months yet. Nor will I have time to watch them. Please review, because when I get some new stuff I'll add more chapters to this to make it funnier.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Popotan, Psychic Academy, Stratos 4, Najica Blitz Tactics, Chobits, Naruto, Full Metal Panic, Fat Pizza or Undergrads. Nor do I hold their respective writers or creators in secret underground lair and torture them for more ideas. I'm just an Aussie who's bored when I should be doing assignments for the summer semester.  
  
1 - Popotan  
  
2 - Psychic Academy  
  
3 - Stratos 4  
  
4 - Najica Blitz Tactics  
  
5 - Chobits  
  
6 - Naruto  
  
7 - Full Metal Panic (Series One)  
  
8 - Full Metal Panic (Series Two)  
  
DVD Extras (That aren't Anime but are just as funny):  
  
1 - Undergrads  
  
2 - Fat Pizza  
  
3 - Fat Pizza the Movie  
  
POPOTAN  
  
Ai: Hi, I'm the calm, mature chick with huge jubblies.  
  
Mai: I'm your average teenage chick with red hair.  
  
Mii: I'm the young girl with purple-ish hair and cute bling bling that makes Ali G jealous. Puni Puni!!!  
  
Ai: Oh my, I think the writers were watching too much Love Hina when they designed my character. Either that or they're Umi fans.  
  
Mai: Cool, we have magic powers! Not many that are useful in battle though.  
  
Ai: And I can talk to dandelions.  
  
Mai: Messing with peoples' lives is good too!  
  
Mare-tan: I'm a stereotyped robot with no emotions or feelings. Just like the host of Survivor.  
  
The Little Rat thing: *Squeak!*  
  
Mare-tan: Look, the house is glowing.  
  
Mii: Puni! Quick lets go back inside our magic mansion.  
  
(They go inside, their mansion travels through time and space, characters don't age. Nothing happens)  
  
Anime Fans: Huh?  
  
(Anime fans left scratching heads. They go watch Rayearth instead.)  
  
(THE END)  
  
PSYCHIC ACADEMY  
  
Shiomi: Oh what a damn! I have magic powers.  
  
Orina: What? You actually don't want abilities like telekenisis?  
  
Shiomi: I'm only going to the school because of you.  
  
Orina: Hmm, looks like what we've got here is the typical "2 people love each other but are both too wussy to admit it" syndrome. Common in Anime characters.  
  
Myuu: I think I need a better bra.  
  
Flying, talking magic bunny thing: Hi! I'm your average excuse to sell cute merchandise!  
  
Chirroro-sensei: Hi! I look somewhat like Misato don't I?  
  
Myuu: Yeah, if it wasn't for the orange eyes and the fact you don't drink in this series I wouldn't have noticed.  
  
Shiomi: Wow! 100% Aura compatability! You and I should, you know, get together.  
  
Myuu: Nah, you have the childhood promise thing with Orina. Besides, I'm..too sexy for my bra..  
  
(They do stuff, Anime fans get sick of getting up to change episodes every 10 minutes)  
  
(THE END)  
  
STRATOS 4  
  
(They fly around in planes shooting down comets whilst suffering the occasional mental breakdown. Suss camera angles on the asses of teenage girls every few seconds. )  
  
(THE END)  
  
NAJICA BLITZ TACTICS  
  
Najica: Hi. On the outside I appear to be a cold-hearted bitch, but I'm really just your typical lone-wolf secret agent who hates having a partner.  
  
(Camera pans to panty shot)  
  
Gento: Najica, can you go out and retrieve some deranged, psychotic super- humans for me please? I'll take you out to dinner.  
  
Najica: Sorry, can't hear you. The transmission is breaking up. Anyway, back to smelling perfume.  
  
(Camera pans to panty shot)  
  
Lila: Najica, that's gunpowder.  
  
Najica: I know, I get high off gunpowder. Lila, what did I say about you coming in my special room?  
  
Lila: Look, a rose!  
  
(Camera pans to panty shot)  
  
Najica: That means I have a mission. You know, I think my boss could afford to give me a pay rise if he just rang me.  
  
(Goes out and attempts to retrive Humalittes. Fails to return them alive. Kicks cyborg butt)  
  
Alpha: *smiles*  
  
(Najica and Lila have argument about Alpha, Najica has a cup of tea)  
  
(THE END)  
  
CHOBITS  
  
(Hideki finds a robot girl, gets a few nosebleeds)  
  
(THE END)  
  
NARUTO  
  
Naruto: Hey! I used to be a nine-tailed fox! How cool is that!  
  
Sakura: Have you been watching too much Sonic the Hedgehog?  
  
*Inner Sakura*: Nine tails? What are you doin' tonite honey?  
  
Naruto: Oh well, hows about we learn how to be a ninja at school?  
  
Ino: I wonder how the Education Department ever allowed this school to open?  
  
Naruto: Where's my goggles?  
  
(Fights a lot of bad dudes)  
  
Naruto: Now for my secret move, Temptation no Ninjitsu!  
  
(Turns into a very attractive naked chick, bad guys get nosebleeds)  
  
(THE END)  
  
FULL METAL PANIC (Season One)  
  
Sousuke: Hi! *Salutes* I'm a military nut, somewhat like Kensuke Aida from Evangelion but 50% more geurilla warfare!  
  
Random minor character: Hmm, what does this do?  
  
(Explosion blows up half of the school)  
  
Chidori: SOUSUKE! *Smacks him around the head with a folded-up newspaper*  
  
Mellisa: Chidori reminds me of someone I know *cough* Naru *cough*  
  
Weber: I'm your typical playboy!  
  
Mellisa: And I'm his sister, a typical hard-ass bitch.  
  
Testarossa: Let's go kill some bad guys!  
  
(They kill bad guys with giant robots that have drives that run off your subconscious)  
  
Kyouko: *Holding camera* What's up? *Click*  
  
Weber: I should reconfigure the Lambda driver to get me some 'tang  
  
Chidori: SOUSUKE!! *Smacks Weber around the head with newspaper*  
  
Sousuke: I'm over here!!  
  
(THE END)  
  
FULL METAL PANIC (Season Two)  
  
Chidori: What happened?  
  
Sousuke: Seems like I'm not part of Mithril no more.  
  
Kyouko: ARGH! A PONY!!! *Click*  
  
Chidori: SOUSUKE!!! *Smacks him around the head with a newspaper*  
  
(More random stuff ensues)  
  
Weber: Life sucks without giant robots..  
  
(Chidori spends the rest of the series smacking Sousuke around the head with a folded newspaper.)  
  
Anime Fans: This is funny, but a lot like every other Love / Hate relationship we've seen. And what's the go with 10 minute episodes?  
  
(Ejects the DVD / Video tape and starts playing Ranma ½ instead. )  
  
(THE END)  
  
DVD EXTRAS:  
  
UNDERGRADS  
  
Doug: Hi! My name's Doug! But you can call me, "The Duggler". Just like my dad does.  
  
Rocko: Shut up! Stupid minor character. *Drinks beer*  
  
Doug: Ok, if anybody wants to talk I'll be over here with my good friend "Connect 4".  
  
Rocko: Alpha-alpha!  
  
Nitz: Rocko, stop being a jackass.  
  
Cal: Hey guy *slurp*, it's Nitz. And bestest buddy Rocko *slurp*  
  
(A window opens up on the computer screen)  
  
Gympie: Hi! I'm your typical computer nerd shut in. Check out my Starwars stuff!  
  
Nitz: Hey Gympie.  
  
Gympie: Hang on, gotta go. One of my 50 hard drives has crashed.  
  
(Camera cut to room with 9 monitors in a formation similar to the operators in the Matrix. Nerdy guy with bulbous eyes gets engulfed in smoke from an explosion. )  
  
Dan: *Laughs hysterically*  
  
Kruger: #*$& @!&#$!&#!!!!!!  
  
Jesse: Hey, whatsup!  
  
(In walks chick with purple hair)  
  
Cal: Hey Jesse lady! *Starts playing keyboard and singing repulsively* Hey, hey, hey, hey.  
  
(And this sort of shit continues, for a full series.)  
  
(THE END)  
  
Undergrads Fans: At least until MTV finishes the 2nd series.  
  
FAT PIZZA  
  
(Camera cut to 3 wogs driving along in a hotted-up car, one of which is busy making out with a chick in the back seat)  
  
Habib: Oh my cGod, you le..  
  
Pauly: What is it Habib, man?  
  
Hebib: Did you just read that street sign? It just said "Police targeting Lebanese". That's us man..  
  
(Rocky is still busy making out with the hot chick in the back seat, Pauly's mobile rings)  
  
Bobo: PAULY!! Your 2 minutes late!! I'm not paying you bludgers $3 an hour to sit around and do nothing!!!  
  
Pauly: Sorry Bobo, man. I.  
  
(Pauly cleans up a pedestrian. A passer-by drags Pauly out of the car, they have a fight, Pauly WINS.)  
  
*Phone rings*  
  
Bobo: Fat Pizza pizza, they're big and they're cheesy.  
  
Random Customer: Ah, gidday. Umm.what's on a "Ham and Pineapple"? *Bobo slams phone down*  
  
Davo Dinkum: *Smoking a bong* Any orders Bobo?  
  
Bobo: *Pulls out a chainsaw from under the kitchen table* SHUT UP AND GET BACK TO WORK!!!  
  
(Everyone gets into a few more fights, car crashes and attempts to pick up hot chicks. Police, a minority group or a gang get involved somewhere, as do half-a-dozen Australian Celebrities in their cameo appearances)  
  
(THE END)  
  
FAT PIZZA THE MOVIE  
  
(See above, just 1 hour and a half longer, Bobo gets married to a mail order bride)  
  
(THE END) 


End file.
